i can't stop thinking of him. ever since we met last summer, my heart skips a beat every time i hear his voice; i get butterflies in my stomach everytime i see his face; i long to be in his arms again. to feel his warm body against mine. to be in his warm embrace. call it lust or love, but i dont care. i know my feelings for him are true.... 

its a weird idea..... just knowing that me and kapil were just supposed to be a one night stand. and we ended up in a relationship.... i dont know what to call it; destiny, or fate. if he was meant to come into my life then, and wake up his sleeping lover....to re-kindle a relationship that was in a past life. i felt like i was complete once i met him, and any idea or conception that he wasn't going to be in my life, made me feel like i was going to die without him. i love him, not because I need him, but because i want him always to be in my life....  I've had many relationships in my life, but none had i felt so passionate about when i was with kapil. he woke the romantic part of me that i never knew i had..... he brought me out of that dark whole of lonliness i had known for so long. then when he left, i drifted back into that same whole, the same nothingness in which i had come from..... 

well, things are going a bit better than before. This is a new year...so why wouldn't it be new? hahaha. my god, i'm listening to Thats Amore right now...and Arthur's whistling along lol. I luv it when guys know how to cheer me up... but chya...i'm starting to move on. still miss him. but i've got other things to keep my mind off him. school. guys. homework. more guys lol. yeah i know i sound horrible now. but i can't help it. what if all i want is to "watch movies" now??? it can't be helped. oh well... its what happens when you get hurt one too many times....